Sad

Should a blog always be a sunny place? An informative place? Or should it accurately reflect the blogger's emotions?

Most blogs these days are promotional vehicles. Pushing oneself forward to get increased media attention for the book one's written, the artwork painted, etc. I have done this myself, mostly. My true emotional posts I saved for a different site, but today I feel the need to be true to myself on this blog.

Today has not been a good day. Truth be told I have been struggling for quite some time. I should have seen the signs (perhaps I did, but ignored them), and prevented myself from getting so low, but it was not to be. So today, it came to a head, and I have fallen into the abyss of depression. I will claw myself back - I always do, but the black dog has got a good grip on me at the moment.

In February a long time friend killed himself, and today should have been his birthday.

The way I lose myself when the black dog bites is usually to write, write, and write some more, but this week there just have been no words. Or rather not enough words anyway! I am hoping that I can get back on track this weekend. I will spend time walking my crazy little dog, and caring for my two horses.